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The Mayans Can Eat A Dick Poetry Series featuring: April Michelle Bratten

My Landlord and the Devil


My landlord looms over the phone-line
like a Shakespearean villain.

As he cackles into my ear,
I imagine he drinks from a jeweled chalice,
and summers in Ibizia where the waters are warm.

He demands more money
from my already depleted bank account.

I'm sorry, I tell him, I am sorry.

I would probably apologize to George W. himself.

Now, with minus signs all around me
and the breath of history growling down my back,
I take to the winter highway.

The devil follows behind me in a pink Winnebago,
tweaking his 'stache and dialing up whores.

He glides over the ice like a pro.

I enter my work building with the swollen body
of a woman who once knew better.

My bra strings barely adjust.

The sun cracks overhead and births a foul moon.
A rare thumping vibrates the room.

I rumble the floors as I maneuver my heavy body
to the window and peek out.

The devil and my landlord lounge on the hood
of the pink Winnebago,
sharing a joint and cranking Metallica.

I wave to them with the naivety of a baby.


Intimacy

In my dream
a zombie tried to have sex with me
on the kitchen floor.

It was all teeth,
crumbs,
rotting limbs,
awkwardness,
and piles of useless flesh.

I woke to find not much had changed
since I went to bed.

The shit still falls from the sky even in reality,
even in the day light.

The afternoon unloads itself
like a horny teenager
deep
into the crevices and holes of my backyard.

The sun is unimportant,
insignificant.

I still walk the rooms like a coward,
a dead person,

sniffing out the meat.

Your organs only become intimate,
useful,

when they sever and separate
from the body.

Happy Joe

I was a mixture of cracked yellow brick
and severed limbs,
paint and crashed fences, femur and scapula,

raw meat.
We would take to the floor of abandoned apartment buildings,
touch hair, and play
with bottles of glue and motor oil,
beer cans and salt water.

I was 19.

I knew everything about vodka and the shoulders of boys.

You liked that.

The first time you came on my tits
your eyes parted like blue birds
leaving the ground.

Tell me what you want.
Your balls pressed my thigh.

I wanted more.

The snow fell in the trees like hammers,
waiting to ice us down.

Now you are married.
Now you go hunting and play with your dogs.

I bet your hands are still the same.

I bet you taste exactly the same.

Evidence 1.1: Cunt Death Terrorists (CDT) Instruction 'Manual': Cunt War & Weaponary

NOTE: Proceeding a police raid on a suspect CDT cell, the following document was found and bagged as evidence. Most was lost in the ensuing fire and explosion, but what remains is nonetheless presented here in public interest
There are Four main types of weaponry used by CDT’s:

Here the document terminates, the remainder burnt beyond recognition.


CDT’s are not suicide bombers and do not wish to come to any harm but to continue venerating the Cunt and blessing it daily. The longer the life, the longer the service. However, they are equipped to adopt a more militant intervention.
Interventions are normally carried out with minimum risk to the general public and those not directly involved. With corporations warnings are given before force, disrupting business but leaving staff unharmed.
In places-of-worship services are repeatedly disrupted with focus on those in authority such as Priests, Ministers etc. Foam Cunts can be placed over crosses and other relics. The Cunt Spritz (constituting menstrual blood and other collected vaginal discharges) can be sprayed or thrown at Church doors or notices. Placing spritz in Holy Water is particularly effective. Toxins can be released in their funded places of residence making them uninhabitable. Churchgoers can be subjected to Cunt Flyers attached to their windshields. Sunday Schools can be interrupted by CDT’s in Cunt Suits.
Jehovah’s Witnesses are a religion particularly suppressive of women and the Cunt, forbidding oral sex and masturbation. Here, a group of female CDT’s could invade a local Kingdom Hall, exposing their cunts (the more acrobatically inclined have greater potential here), spraying the Cunt Spritz (again, the spritz is a good method of direct confrontation) and offering copies of our specially-designed magazines ‘Cunt Tower’ (featuring a Cunt logo rather than a Watchtower) and ‘Cunt Awake’ dedicated to the grand awakening and return of the Great Mother-Cunt in all its glory.
The possibilities are endless and these are just some ideas and techniques we have utilized. Other interventions can be designed depending upon the socio/political/cultural/religious influences in your locality.

The Cunt Spritz
Aforementioned, and the most passive in contact.

The Cunt Mitt
A heavy-duty glove cunt-shaped at the palm. Effective at close combat and usually coated with Cunt Secretions.

The Revulva
A ‘pistol’ Vulva that can discharge gas (usually harmless and sedative), rubber pellets (usually causing bruising or other minor injury) or lethal ammunition designed for combat. Deadly ammunition is rarely used and usually for protection. However, if a CDT points his Revulva upwards and discharges a few rounds of live ammunition the seriousness of the event should be made known to all.

There is also the Revulva Taser based on the same design carrying a small electrical charge.

The Labia Decimator
An bomb labial in design. The timer is set by manipulating the labial ‘lips’ left and right. The device is armed by depressing the ‘clitoral’ nub located at the uppermost part of the Decimator. The charge can be live explosive, biological (a agent causing a Hermaphrodite change in males is being considered and developed) or the Cunt Spritz released by a small (relatively harmless charge) en-mass. An adhesive is usually added to the Cunt Spritz mixture to ensure it coats and adheres to people and objects. This is known as the Cunt Adhesive.
These (unintellgible) weapons(?) ----- worldwide ------------- sex - 'rites'(?) ---------
occult -------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIO:
Lucius Rofocale was raised by wolves in the wilderness. Though 'rescued' and indoctrinated as Homo-Sapien he remains very feral. Lucius is an Ordained Minister of the Church of Sub-Genius and posits than self-breeding Hermaphrodites are the next evolutionary step for the human race. You can talk to him at luciusrofocale@live.com and read him at myspace.com/luciusrofocale