"Cancel Culture" by Kim Cancer

This is not a story. This is not literature.
This is a spit in the face.
A kick in the nuts. A punch in the tit.
A shooting spree,
of consonants and vowels, aimed at snowflakes.

This is to be loathed. This is to cause anger.
This is to be deleted, blocked, downvoted, canceled and hated.
Demonetized
by coding corpses in Silicon Valley

It is my hope a Twitter Mob forms,
curses my name, relegates me to Louis CK status.

This is my penis and I take it out
a dark web palm reader for the snowflakes.
This is my penis and I take it out
to piss on the face of all Boomers, Gen Xers
and especially the Millennials and Gen Z

You who have grown with smartphones akin to limbs,
priapic pineal glands, ophthalmic screens…

You who have “emotional support animals”
I hope your emotional support animal
mauls you to death like an Alaskan grizzly bear
and you fucking die like that execrable Australian crocodile cunt

You who have “safe spaces”
I want to rig your safe spaces
with prepositions, adverbial pipe bombs
and laugh as they explode like an Ariana Grande concert

Yes, YOU, you snowflakes…

You who have transformed young America
into a coddled wasteland
of mock outrage, moaning prudes

You who subscribe to video game streams on YouTube
You who pay punk ass PewDiePie his millions
while the greatest living poet in America works as a janitor!

You who fight over bathrooms
You who bastardize legitimate arguments,
shame those who marched
shame those who righteously died

You who vote Republican and Democrat
You who watch CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News
You who wish to silence creators
You who are triggered
You who can’t take a joke
You who can’t fathom opposing views
You who Yelp, write online reviews
in braille
You who protest Bill Burr, Joe Rogan and Dave Chappelle

You, you snowflakes: I want to reach into your toilets
to smear myself in your shit
and kick at your cunts and balls as you whine online about my blackface

I want to punch your nose
paint myself in your blood and attack your colleges
with wadded up copies of The Naked Lunch and Tropic of Cancer

I want to hack Spotify
replace every playlist with Public Enemy on a continuous loop
and blast 2 Live Crew
from loudspeakers down every boulevard in Northern California

I want to hog-tie conservatives, make them watch gay porn
I want to hog-tie liberals, make them watch monster truck rallies

Because your phone can block
Your phone can delete
But energy cannot be destroyed

And ART, speech, thought
Are the purest form of energy
The very flesh of emotion…

Currency both malefic and supernal!

And now, snowflakes
now I tie your noose
I grind my knife to your throat
I aim my AK at your temples
Just to tell you this:

Sticks and stones can break my bones
But words will always nourish me…

Let there be commerce!

"Green Tea Bitch: Jiangxi" by Newamba Flamingo

Green Tea Bitch: Jiangxi

1.
softcore porn
feet bunched up, icy fingers
last Lantern Festival…
last feast, fireball cupboards
granny’s building leap,
granny’s red pockets, grandpa’s tree bark

red face reunions,
way boned
tiger chair hot pot
hot water dunks
television torture tactics...

LITTLE LEI FENGS
PIG EARS FOR THE WILLING
MORNING READINGS
KITES, KNIFINGS, KAIFENGS
GAS CANISTER KITCHEN FETISHES

smokestacks to backbeats, word is on the street…

chemical plant cuckold
chemical plant cuckold
anthrax laced long underwear
chemical plant cuckold
dark market of caged animals…
coalitions of the willing…

coalitions of telemarketers,
coalitions of wedding strippers,
airing of grievances
tractor pull aneurysms.

2.

new guards, counter martyrs,
counter counterrevolutionaries
curbside counter qipao epilepsy
mahjong social justice warriors
hand-washing laundry in shapes,
coldest water, slurping fetus soup
back back back alley
cigarette sonogram…

bureaus, ministry of smiling turtle shit
networks of ayis: poker face
pale face
voluntary tarot card confessions,
sperm shot parabolas,
Sichuan, malatang
planes to Phuket
coin operated engines
smiling tiger
selfie stick death duels,

a hostage and a crisis

a house and a car

down payments
to lost generations
down payments
pension funds
down payments
public defecation

dancing spastic
dancing on graves at the public square

3.

en…
100 kilometers an hour
building blocks: laodong
labor camps,
promises, Angkor Wat
promises, forty year plan
outbursts, sajiaos,
deepest sympathies
vinegar comb-over
teeth in public toilets
teeth in buried trains
bricks for the kangaroo
algorithmic iterating intelligence
Uncle Ganbei
Uncle Guizhou
Uncle Gansu!
one belt
shaven head depression,
young girls held at knife-point
babies burning in Hangzhou…

4.

ai-yah!
she paints her face white
wielding umbrellas like a terrorist
she paints her face white
stashing mink coats
flashing household registrations
she bites her tongue
metallic taste of blood and duck meat…

and the Audi,
he meditates on Cambodia,
gunshots and gonorrhea,
bar girls and Buddhas,
beer and guanxi…

she bites her tongue
her father’s hemorrhoids
her mother’s bunions
skyscrapers scraping haze, pencils,
rubbers and whiteouts
the symbolism of slanted roofs
the middle school girls in communal showers

she clenches her teeth
her slow-moving reckoning
her menstruating at the Gala
her red gown cameo
her Paris trip postponed
her wet bowel movements
her gym class in unison

AI – OH, LAOGONG!

Robocalls, robocops, facial recognition
Backslap gambling debts
Loansharking,
promised wife in infrared
Her infrastructures of suffering
Waltzing, caustic, the burning tires
vomiting salutes, public tantrums
Her elevated boots with pomp, tassels
Hassles, expired passports,
kicks to the groin
period painted couplets, calligraphy
dunce caps, iron rice bowl mafia,
carpet jackets screaming in horror
scratching hammers, scratching sickles
carpet jackets
mimicking chalkboards, fortune tellers at bus stops,
triangle hats, counterfeits,
Baidu toxic vegetable butt grease

ai-oh!

“No, we won’t go to your parents’ house this New Year’s”
“No, we can’t see her this New Year’s”

…. And I birthed your suckling pig

44 kilometers an hour

On ramp, on light, engine check light,
no yielding, no tolls
trolls
multi-level marketing
mandates of heaven,
mannequin fistfights
clotheslining bitches at banquets
minstrel shows on demand…

His knuckles turn yellow

red light horizons and xiao sans
Shanghai housing prices and
fucked up mufflers and brake pads
maxi-pads, exposed wiring
Xanax and smoke signals,
carrier pigeons in V formations
55 prisoners
in blue jumpsuits, burning alive
in the blackest of lighter factories …

FINGER PINCHING NIGHT SWEATS…
DOG SHIT DRUNK
KTV ED SHEERAN IMPOSTERS
DOG SHIT DRUNK
DOG FARTS
DOG MEATS
DOG FESTIVAL DOG WHITE DOG LEFT
DOG SQUEAMISH COUNTERFEIT PAINTINGS
DOG OF NOTHING…

“I HARE A DREAMS”

His knuckles turn orange
Disappearing into overcast sunsets
Paint chips, coughing walls, cigarette symphonies,
rice riot buffet line skirmishes, kung fu chicken
kung fu led poisoning
one hundred years of hungry escalators
gutter oil diarrhea canals and
Firecrackers of cow ass,
hongbao for the whore
his ballerina, brass knuckles and a bloody nose
taking her beating,
like a pedophile in prison

JIANGXI: VIVIAN AND TONYA
SOMA, SOOOOMA, SOOOOOOMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA

Oh, LAOGONG,
those long lines and awkward stares, the VIP hospital cards
Chopstick funeral pyres, deleted and we chant moments
those crowded subways, unwashed masses pushing forth
their Famine pangs and fang fang halitosis,
flat noses, snorting, the frog like creatures…

Oh, LAOGONG!

88 kilometers an hour
Head on collisions with ghosts
Honking at swine
Bodies in the river
Hurling bottles at strangers,
Bodies with their addictions
mobile apps
slashing sprees impromptu
static cling silver
imaginary shopping malls…
oh, their first class faggot renderings of Van Gogh
oh, their suffocated toddlers in filthy bathwater…
GOING GOING GOING THE FUCK BACK TO HENAN
AI- OH,
their maids washing tea cups with toilet brushes

Oh, Laopao,
You Green Tea Bitch,
that toothless trucker we overtake
His meth dreams of California
His mansion in Vancouver
His millionaire schemes
His black children’s torrents
of basketball, tattoos, English education
the death penalty and mumble rap
registered drug users
NEVER BROKE AGAIN
Oh, Laopao…

Come to…
bucktooth ballerina grabbing for the wheel

Oh, SHUI GE,
the windshield’s cracked
Kamikaze, somersaults in green canals
Algae the rear view, triple axles and sirens
sewer smells, lumps of coal, lumps of ketamine,
four old uteruses, tarantula Louis CK-like handjobs
Feeble attempts at curing cancer…

Pao pao pao pao pao pao pao PAO!!!!!!!!!

MEI NU
her mediations contemplated solace

TCManpire,
his vulture dick endless administrative detentions

A NEW RED DAWN, A FRIENDLY LION

A NEVERENDING DREAM

"Getting Gunned Down and Liking It" by Newamba Flamingo

The house was for sale
Assorted couples, some with
smells of children
assorted couples
straggled in/out

Home Alone
Burglars on monkey bars
Home Alone
in/out, in/out

real estate agents
opioid white, comfortably numb
smelling of hamburger
kicked and kicked
at the cellar door
in/out, in/out

The day was humid, sunny,
95 degree heat index
the
sound of cicadas
vacuums
honeysuckle mildew
Tourette’s sufferers
self-mutilating multi-purpose
emos on dog leashes
slobbering, snickering
in/out, in/out

the cats
confinement,
fear of children
cats’
basement purgatory,
sucker shit starvation…
in/out

the fresh cut grass
out front of
The old Victorian,
site of senior citizen slap fights,
domestic disputes
abusive PTA swinger sessions,
HIV conspiracies
Stolen bike sleepover studies of Nero
Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtle Tupperware
Silverfish eating crack smoking British animals

The old Victorian,
its Grecian columns
Its Pot plants, cocaine, teenage sex
its girl blood graffiti

Out/in

Hovering balls of night
hair metal
good fences…

walls had been painted
roses had been planted
lawns had been manicured
leaky pipes had been fixed

past, present perfect…

Throwing stones
The faggot running home with one shoe
Throwing stones
The faggot with a black eye and cracked glasses
The faggot, weeping, snot-nosed
seeking Jamaican gardeners
seeking gravel driveway sanctuary

The faggot
hears an explosion,
boom boom boom
From that failed shopping center
Where stepsisters fucked in elevators
Where stepbrothers tripped acid in bushes
The Iranian deli and its cigarettes
gone in a fire red mushroom cloud…

1-Armed attackers
Unleashed from snack bars
Beating poets and bears with baseball bats

1-Armed attackers,
potbelly fanny packs,
New Balance shoes
pinkish trench coats

1-Armed attackers
walkie-talkies, gang signs
abortion crocodile farms
airboats from a shithole
Turbo charged colon cameras

coyotes dropping from the sky

1-Armed attackers
jogging down suburban streets
in wedding gowns
AR-15 blazing,
soccer moms getting gunned down and liking it

Police, swat teams, bullets whizzing by
Corpses, real or imagined, trash and treasure
Dream therapy, food truck hearses
Quack Quack
Candle lit stock market ceremonies
Macaroni and cheese making America
Orange slice metaphorical weather pattern
Bomb cyclone, shouting at the derecho and liking it

The news had been broadcast
Gunmen’s silhouettes
Gunmen’s faces and stories

The air was humid
The house was for sale

"Bald Head Fred" by Newamba Flamingo

Bald Head Fred in camo cargos
Bald Head Fred, his Hillary for Prison 2016 tee
Bald Head Fred, El Chapo of the Viagra Cartel
Bald Head Fred, hairy man-tits, hotel balcony fits
Bald Head Fred, throwing beer bottles at feral cats
Bald Head Fred, proselytizing and cursing into humidity
Bald Head Fred, Gospels of Al Bundy Butt Sex Terrorism
Bald Head Fred, the Jesus of sodomy

"One Night in Bangkok" by Newamba Flamingo

No more popping pills

Here they’ve traded ulcers and commutes
for tiki temples and tire fire sunsets

Krung Thep
Soi Cowboys with shiny new teeth
HiSo(s) with two right hands of Terminal 21

Here we got all the latest trends in coconut oil colonoscopy

Here we have dreams of soapy massages,
Australian ass crack, and true arhats

Here Bangkok narrow streets
are water buffaloes in Issan

Asoke!
Bangkok BTS, feel the devil, hope it's a She
Phoelchit!
Bangkok BTS, bored to the Go Go
Chitlom!
Bangkok BTS, levitate, levitate thee
Siam!
Bangkok BTS, Here the dialect is a bar fine

Here there is no God
we seek the new Seth Warshavsky
or Marilyn Manson
maybe a recovering Mormon
or some other fallen star

Here there’s no God, but there’s bars
Oh the bars, they got Tequila shots, but no Tila

They got Tilaks and some smoking hot honeys

They got coyotes and horndogs
those crotch sniffers cold canvassing carpets

They got surgical masks and food stalls
spicy smells and papaya salads,
banana roti(s), emojis and part-time palm readers

They got
Laotian club kids
the only ones
who can truly relieve your resting bitch face

"Mmmm, Baht Baht!"


“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Baht Baht...“

Here there are fantasy cockroach leagues
Klong Toey caravans beckoning sunburn,
Saan phra poom purges of
youngsters playing badminton in Donald Trump masks

Here
street corner dildo police publicly piss test the masses

Here there are 35 degrees of heavily veiled women

Here Colonel Vikorn has lookouts on the prowl for handys and Brexits

Here
there are violent gangs of post-midnight ladyboys
plaguing Pattaya,
fucking up Dutch tourists, roughing their shit
Tuk Tuk taxi drivers on about Obamacare pre-ops
Tuk Tuk taxi drivers
planning on planting pipe bombs at Siam Paragon

(Mr. 303 voice) Listen man:
You want a blowjob at the massage parlor, a cunt punt, or a fist full of yaba?
(a twenty year stink in the Bangkok Hilton or twenty thousand farang Franklins, motherfucker!)



Yesterday’s Bangkok Post:
Seventy Two Twitter Users Protest Koh Pee Pee Midnight Screening of new Ghostbusters

这里有
a new Fat Joe, brass knuckles, and a high wai for the Walking ATM
这里有
lotus flower riots, cheap booze, cough syrup coups,
red shirts, re-used condoms and live ammunition shutdown options

(now let’s see what Owen Wilson has to say about that, shall we!)

Saturday Night, Nana Plaza:
Thunderstorm MILF, the short time queen,
silky brown skin
Cambodian butt cheeks encased chocolate thong lo
berserk it, work it, twerk it, bitch
90 Baht, 80 Baht, 70 Baht
Led Zeppelin, buttrock, and Britney Spears


Monday Night Karaoke:
This girl is poison

Tuesday Night:
Thunderstorm MILF in Sukhumvit, street-side
straight up grabbing random tourist man-ass

Make me wanna ask that slap attack monk
He who slap attacked that cracker tourist on a train:
“So why is it okay for a woman to just go up and grab a random dude’s ass? How is he any less violated?”

And the monk might or might not answer:
“Back in the Tsunami of 2004, there was a man peacefully walking down the beach alone as the first big wave was approaching the shore. People started yelling out to him, warning him, imploring him to flee to safety. The man looked over at them, confused, unsure as to why they were so panicked. Then suddenly the massive wave engulfed him.”

Me:
“Did a hooker just grab his ass prior to that?”

The Monk:
“No.”

Me:
“I fail to see the correlation or logic.”

The monk:
“You seek logic. The wave does not.”

สวัสดีสวัสดีสวัสดี

Wasted Lanza

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Glasgow Gidget

"Glasgow Gidget" by Newamba Flamingo

Glasgow Gidget lass she had a piss on the building society front anti automatic door didn't open @nytime that cold night, Glasgow Gidget, her Cradle of Filth, Glasgow Gidget her ghost in the fog, Glasgow Gidget her vomit on the street, Glasgow Gidget her broken fingers and cockroaches in the kitchen, Glasgow Gidget, her Royal Bank of Get to Fuck, Glasgow Gidget, fifty pence fuck all to Paisley, Glasgow Gidget, taking the piss, Glasgow Gidget, Glasgow Gidget, Glasgow Gidget in Shawlands on Segways wearing green hit the pavement pure drive-by boomerang attacks on Celtic supporters, Glasgow Gidget in Ibrox on skateboards wearing blue hit the pavement gyrating axe answer attacks on Rangers supporters, Glasgow Gidget cow knows where Maddy is, aye, Glasgow Gidget on pogosticks pipe bombs in confession booths, Glasgow Gidget the Gordon in Brown, Glasgow Gidget sees ya lochness monster locusts in every lorry cockpit, Glasgow Gidget spontaneous cricket bat outbursts, Glasgow Gidget, tuberculosis in the call centre, Glasgow Gidget, allah youse, Glasgow Gidget in wee hooses, Glasgow Gidget cannae ya cunts, Glasgow Gidget in a gondola on the River Clyde

The Great American Novel

"The Great American Novel" by Newamba Flamingo


I want to spend the next ten years writing the great American novel

and when I send it out to publishers
every single one will reject it
all with form rejection letters
instead of the sardonic
and/or personal criticism I'd prefer

I want to write the great American novel

and self-publish it online
to a password protected site
only I can see

I want to write the great American novel

and let my only friend read it
and she'll tell me how it would make a wonderful screenplay