our supervisor
got a bird nose,
long neck and big fat butt
that juts
out
when she walks
we call her “The Ostrich”
but never to her face
The Ostrich carries clipboards
and deducts salaries
we poke our heads up from cubicles
like gophers, whenever she makes the rounds
her appearances always causing instant silence
every day
she seemingly appears from thin air
you never see her coming
but when she does
she'll often pull people into a backroom
usually those who go there never return
but if they do
they look like zombies
pale, with dead eyes
we call it the rape room
no one really knows what happens back there
one day The Ostrich
went up to this new employee
maybe to bring him to the rape room
this guy was scary looking
fucking scary looking
looked kinda like Chuck Liddell
so we called him “Chuck Liddell”
but never to his face
motherfucker had a mohawk,
piercings and tattoos everywhere
always sat alone during breaks
looked like he just got out of prison
The Ostrich said something to him
and he calmly peered around the room
stood up and wiped his nose with his shirt sleeve
the entire office was totally transfixed
fucking transfixed
and the already soft volume on the floor faded
like someone'd turned down a TV
I imagined Chuck Liddell
throwing a right cross
connecting squarely
on The Ostrich's big ass bird nose
and her big ass bird nose flying right off her face
and the bitch crumbling to the floor
and hovering on hands and knees,
searching for it
like Mike Tyson vs Buster Douglas
circa 1990
but Chuck Liddell didn't throw a punch
instead he reached into his pocket
and I thought for a second
he's gonna whip out a gun
and shoot everyone
but actually
he broke out a box of tic tacs
and gave one to The Ostrich
and smiled
flashing his rotted teeth
and sat back down
the entire room stayed quiet
everyone looking around at each other
perplexed
and the janitor
an old skinny black guy
who was emptying out a wastebasket
near Chuck Liddell's desk
stopped for a second
and looked over at me
with bloodshot eyes
and he looked over at Chuck Liddell
and then looked over at The Ostrich
and he just chuckled a bit, shook his head,
and went back to work
